Paralyzed by love

Tonight is one of those night?!
I'm in pain
All I know is
I want him back
Soo bad
I know I can't have him back

It's been 4 years since you
Lay silent

And with each day,
It's a new struggle

I really wish you were
Still here
Things would be different
Either better
Or worse
Either way
I would have you here
It would matter

But you lie still

No matter how hard
I pray
Or cry
You lie there
Breathless
Everyday
Is a new struggle

I vowed to move
Never to lie still
Till my time comes

I have faith
We will meet

Till then...
I will forever bid you farewell

Humanly trust

Humanly trust

Been hurt so long
The next one you find
Thoughts ...
He got your back!
To only reassure you that
You mean nothing to him

You scream and shout,
He does the same
At the end, leaves you feeling
Down and low.

Love lost
Taken away
Left with nothing
But bitterness

True Soul

True Soul

Fear of being apart
Or is it fear
Love: in our case a miscalculation of misplaced feelings  of longing and lonely hearts
We are happy together.
U make me laugh
U make me happy
You make my soul dance
True soul
You are happy!
True soul, you love deeply.
True soul, you are wounded
You bleed
I rub salt on the burns
It hurts
You love deeply still.
I cherish you.
Only on my heart.
For I found no courage to show
U.
Thoughts of you
Being with another haunt me
I need you to hang on
A little longer.
I will wait.
And be with you from
A distance
Love this tense is
Beautiful.
I love you
Skin deep!
True soul!

Fool's Claim

Fool's Claim

He told the world he adores us
Behind closed reflections he stroked us.
He said to the word he loved us
Behind boxed walls he lashed at us.
He promised the her the world on a silver platter... They came in iron fists
How could thee
Love a broken woman?
In possession of pain
How could thee..
Erase all the pain
He came in many forms
In all ages
He grew when we grew
He haunts us alive
Dread the day he goes
Deeper into pain
Would you understand?
Dare me not speak my heart
A fools claim
She went in search...
A fools claim
She lost the pledge!
A fools claim

Cost Of Hatred

Cost of hatred

You pay a high price for hating someone

You spend your days, trying to take a stab at them. Just so that they can feel the pain equal to that they inflicted on you
It is really expensive to hate someone
I now learn the lesson in my old age.
As I missed all the lessons I paid for in my childhood
I spent most of my hours hating him.
And with this hate, came the unrecoverable loss of  true love.
Yes, one could ask the question "what does the young me know about true love?"
I would answer " shadowed with so much violence, one begins to protect themselves. Therefore missing the only true rose that grows from the cracks of a wall"
I can proudly say, I was the first girl who you wrote a poem to
I was the first girl whom you had your heart beat with at once
I was the first girl
Who got you to wear shorts and show off your scar
I can proudly say, although you never said it, you loved me...  But I was too busy fighting off demons from closets that I dared not to open to you.
I had to shield myself from the shadow of hatred.
Forgetting that you were there all along.
God really showed me grace.
By seeing you smile at me... Gave me a much needed break from the war.
Although I lost you in the war...
It was not my intention to,
I had no way of knowing that war will rob me of an opportunity to be free with you.
The cost of hatred is pennied for by loss of true innocent love.
With that said... I now learned..
I will never let hatred hold me to ransom over love.
I miss you.. And wish
Things could have turned out differently.
I wish you the best... In all you do.